The Gift
by xxmusic rock
Summary: Dan/Blair - AU. TV based. Blair is afraid of the gift Dan gives her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Yes, this is another Dair fic. I thought of the actual plot before I found the perfect song to go with it. This doesn't mean my other fic is on hiatus or anything, it's just another fic to get me going for the rest of the time I have off. The song is "The Gift" by Seether.

I would also like to point out that I got my information from Wikipedia - not the most trusted source of information, I realise this. But I am not trying to trivialise HIV or trying to put it into a good light in any way. It's a serious disease and I hope I haven't offended anyone with this piece of fiction.

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_I'm so ashamed of defeat._

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She didn't believe that she was sitting in some unknown doctor's office, and she didn't believe that Chuck was really with her at the moment. When Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass started going out, everyone thought that it would never last. But as self-destructive as they were, the two of them felt optimistic about their future. They weren't just any other ordinary couple on the Upper East Side; they were the power couple. They were the two people that everyone had to watch out for. Chuck had people in places she didn't even want to know, and she managed to instil fear into hearts of girls around the Upper East Side. Together they were unstoppable, unbreakable, impenetrable.

Because they just weren't any other ordinary couple, it meant that they couldn't settle for hand holding, watching movies together at the cinema, talking walks in the park and sitting by the pond to feed birds and ducks. They weren't ordinary. They were Chuck and Blair. It wouldn't have been Chuck and Blair without the games that the two of them had become accustomed to. And that was what they did.

The played games with each other; it was a compromise that Blair was willing to make. In the end, she always got Chuck. There was no two ways about it. He wasn't sleeping with the girls they were humiliating, Blair was always going to "catch" them in time before she wrapped her arms around Chuck and fell into bed with him for the night.

But there was one night when she couldn't play their game. That night she was needed by her other half, Serena Van der Woodsen. She had just arrived from Europe and she wasn't in the right frame of mind. She called the brunette to come over and when she did, the blonde looked like a mess. So Blair missed her date with Chuck in order to make sure her best friend was alright. It seemed like a justified reason for letting her boyfriend off for the night. After all, she trusted him. Chuck Bass had been converted to a monogamous man. He would have never thought of cheating on her.

At least that was what she thought.

As soon as the white coat entered the room, Blair's hand reached out to Chuck's to clutch it tightly while taking in a deep breath. The man opened the folder before spreading out several sheets of paper in front of him, intertwining his fingers together and resting them against his desk.

"I'm sorry that I have to be the bearer of bad news," he started, Blair's breath getting caught in her chest. She had never been this scared before. It had been a week since the last time she sat in this office with Chuck to find out if something was wrong with her. Her boyfriend had reassured her that she was fine, but Blair knew something was wrong. Swallowing, she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle what words were going to come out of the doctor's mouth.

"Miss Waldorf, tests confirm that you have HIV-1. That explains your lymphadenopathy and myalgia, along with your fever. These kinds of symptoms can be mistaken for more common infectious diseases with these symptoms, but you're very lucky for coming in this early. Sometimes these symptoms can go almost virtually undetected and it can be too late."

Blair wasn't quite sure what the doctor said for the rest of the appointment. His voice seemed to fade into the back of her mind as the information slowly sank in her head. She was HIV-1 positive. This couldn't have been right at all. How the hell did she get the godforsaken disease? Swallowing, she felt Chuck's hand move to hers and squeezing it reassuringly. She felt so dirty, no amount of cleaning and cleansing would be able to make her feel any better about the situation. Trying to focus on what the doctor was telling her, she nodded slowly throughout the rest of the appointment before accepting a piece of paper he had handed over to her about what she should do next. She was completely expressionless until they had exited the building, Blair wrenching her arm out of Chuck's grip.

"I can't believe you," She hissed, glaring at Chuck.

"What?"

"You know very well I am not the one that sleeps around out of the two of us,"

"Well there was a period when you were going from Carter to Nate. I wouldn't exactly pin the blame on me," Chuck replied smoothly, as if he had been planning this answer for a while.

"Shut up Chuck! I know myself. I'm not stupid enough to not have unprotected sex with them. I don't want to get pregnant at eighteen; I can't afford it. You are the only person I've been intimate with in the past two months. It sure as hell isn't my fault I'm in this position if I'm only in the second stage of symptoms." She spat viciously, her hands planted firmly on her hips as she continued to stare at the boy.

"Are you suggesting…"

"Did you sleep with someone else?!"

Silence fell upon the two of them, the background noises of New York City continued without missing a beat. Jaw clenched, Blair's gaze penetrated Chuck's until he finally dropped his head. That was all she needed to know.

"That's it," She sighed, breathing out as she turned her head to the left slightly. "I thought I could trust you Chuck. I thought we were done with this. I thought you were done with this,"

"We were playing a game…" He trailed off pathetically.

"We play games, because that's who we are! We play games so you won't get bored of me and toss me aside for some STD floozy, which you already have. So we're through Chuck. You gave me your disease, and I'm never going to be rid of you, ever. I hope you're happy with yourself,"

Swallowing, Blair held back the tears as she took one more look at Chuck before turning her back on him. She thought that she was the one that was able to get through to him, the one that was going to change him into a different person. But it seemed like she was wrong, and she was never going to ever get rid of Chuck Bass now. He was her disease, and there was no way she was ever going to be cured of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I am truly horrible when it comes to updating things on here. But here is the second instalment. Thank you for the reviews from the first chapter, and in reply to one of the reviews - I just had a particular idea that revolved around a disease that Blair had contracted through Chuck, in which Dan would eventually show her the hypothetical "light". HIV seemed to be one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and after a little bit of research, I chose said disease.

Right, after that, time to get on with it. Here it is below, enjoy!

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_Right on the wrong side of it all._

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He still wasn't sure why he was sleeping out on the couch while he let Blair Waldorf sleep in his bed. He could have easily let her sleep in Jenny's room, but he was sure that his sister wouldn't have approved of that action. Dan Humphrey was sure that he wouldn't have been the first call of help when it came to issues with Chuck, but since he had heard that Serena had come back and gone to Providence at her mother's demand, he thought she would have gone to see Nate. But he was still out of the country since college was starting in a week. It seemed that Dan really was her last option and when he opened the door to the loft to see her standing with puffy eyes, there was no way he would close the door on her. After all, he did discover two years ago that there really was another side to Blair, even though that side never came out.

He could still remember the moment she walked into the loft, her nose crinkling as she tried to decipher the smell that was lingering in the loft. Dan was curt to say the least, and he felt like an idiot after he finally understood the reason as to why Blair was in the loft. the fact that she had come to him for help made him feel better about himself, but that didn't excuse his earlier behaviour. After he had convinced her to wear some of his clothes to sleep because they "would be a whole lot more comfortable to sleep in than that dress you're wearing", he apologised for his behaviour as he started changing the sheets on his bed (per her request). Dan didn't mind, he had to change and clean them anyway, but never in his wildest dreams he would think that Blair would be spending a night in Brooklyn. It would have been the most logical thing for her to do if she didn't want Chuck to find her. After all, it wasn't in her character to cross over the Brooklyn Bridge to come and see him.

Turning several times on the couch, Dan sighed loudly to himself as stared up at the ceiling. His dad was getting comfortable in Lily's place, as was Jenny. He wasn't going to be living on campus at NYU; they didn't have enough money for it. So he was going to be staying at the loft and travelling into the city when he had class. But even when he had the whole loft to himself, he felt lonely. And it seemed that the nickname that Gossip Girl had for him was all too appropriate after he had graduated high school. And as strange it was to have someone else in the loft that wasn't his dad, Jenny, Eric or Serena, it felt oddly comforting. Even if she wasn't the person he thought he'd ever see in the loft again. Company was company, hostile or not.

Finally closing his eyes to try and fall asleep once more, he took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly and resting a hand on his chest. He managed to find some peace in his head, but it was interrupted by a sound. It wasn't something that he was used to hearing, but he knew what it was. A part of him didn't want to go into his room to find out whether if Blair Waldorf was really crying, but the other part of him told him he had to get his ass up off the couch and enter the room. The arguments continued to go back and forth in his head until he finally decided to get up and see what was going on.

Flinging the blanket off, he manoeuvred into a sitting position before standing up and walking over to his bedroom door. Pressing his ear up against the door, he could still hear the soft sniffles from inside. Swallowing, he curled his hand into a fist and rapped it against the door, the other hand slowly opening the doorknob. Pushing the door open, he could see Blair's outline from the moonlight that was coming through the window, her back facing him.

"Don't even think about coming near me Humphrey," She whispered. Her voice wasn't laced with malice; she didn't even make an attempt to throw in a snide remark.

Ignoring everything his head was telling him, Dan entered the room before closing the door behind him. Moving to the bed, he crawled on it before turning to face Blair to see horror wash over her facial expressions.

"Humphrey, what the he-"

"Shut it Waldorf. I am trying to make you feel better," Dan snapped, almost fed up with her lack of gratitude of what he had done for her.

Moving closer to her, he laid back against the bed and watched as she slowly turned around to face him, his arm moving over her waist and shifting closer to her.

"Thank you… really," The brunette whispered, punctuated with a sniffle.

Rubbing her back slowly, Dan nodded silently. He could still feel her sniffling against his chest, and within a matter of moments, her chest started heaving faster and her sniffles turned into sobbing. Frowning slightly, he pulled her in closer to his chest as he allowed her to sob against him, keeping his arms around her as tightly as she could.

"I can't believe he did that," Blair wailed, Dan nodding his head as a show of comfort.

"You were playing a game; a dangerous game," Dan mused. "You both played games because that was the only way that both of you could be together. If you didn't have the games, you wouldn't be Chuck and Blair,"

Blair's sobs fell silent as Dan spoke, the boy too absorbed in his thoughts to notice.

"Chuck has always played the game, even when he wasn't with you. He was always the guy that chased after girls even when they didn't want to be chased, but he got them in the end. And maybe he does love you deep down inside, but the fact of the matter is that a leopard can't change its spots. Chuck Bass will always be the same boy you've known for the last fifteen years and he'll never change. You tempted him, and you weren't able to be there to stop him from fully indulging in it. He is the one at fault, not you,"

Stopping, Dan looked down at Blair to see her looking up at him causing him to swallow and take a small breath.

"Sorry, I just…"

"No, it's okay. It's… it's true," Blair whispered quietly before resting her head against his chest, closing her eyes. "He won't find me here will he?"

"Not if I can help it," Dan replied confidently, tilting his head down as he looked at the brunette. Breathing slowly, he found watching her head rise and fall to his breathing hypnotising, his eyelids slowly growing heavier and eventually falling into a slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Obviously I am shockingly bad when it comes to updating fan fiction. But I'll be updating both of my stories tonight with a few chapters so at least there's something for you all to read (if you are still reading that is). Enjoy!

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_I can't face myself when I wake up._

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She hadn't seen Chuck Bass since her last doctor's appointment, and she planned on keeping it that way. For the whole week of orientation, Blair Waldorf had been staying in the Humphrey loft. She simply couldn't stay in the dorms when she knew that Chuck knew what room she was in. She had told administration that she was no longer staying on campus and with that, she was rid of her stay in the dorms. While her initial plan of implementing the beginnings of a Waldorf takeover were on hiatus, she stayed close to Dan whenever they were on campus. For all she knew, Chuck could have waited for her outside the buildings. But strangely enough, having someone like Dan Humphrey around all the students at NYU seemed to make her feel a little more at home.

For some strange reasons, it was as if the universe had folded into itself. Dan Humphrey was much more popular with the ladies at NYU as he was with Constance. It shocked the brunette, and while it took her a while to adjust the fact that Dan was getting asked for coffee at a literature discussion, she knew that Dan was probably the best person to stay with. After all, if her ultimate goal was to rule the school, then she was going to have to stay close to someone that was more popular (even though she still couldn't believe that he was more popular than her).

At first, he had offered his own bedroom to stay in, and while she had initially rejected his offer (out of courteously), she quickly agreed to stay in Jenny's room once he offered her room. And while she didn't want to kick him out of his own bedroom, she wasn't sure how long their arrangement was going to last. The one thing she was sure of was that she didn't want to see Chuck, and she knew that he wouldn't have come looking for her in Brooklyn. Plus, it was the Humphrey loft, Dan could have slept anywhere he wanted to, even his father's bedroom. But it wasn't until three days into her stay before she decided that she just that little bit safer at the loft.

That was when Dan had made a few calls to find out his father and Jenny's living situation at the penthouse. Once the two of them got the all clear, Jenny and Rufus returned to the loft to collect a few more things before Blair moved all of her things into Jenny's room. And while it wasn't her cup of tea having a garage door that separated the two of them, she was grateful that the Humphreys could agree to the current arrangement. That and they had promised that they wouldn't tell Chuck where she was.

Perched on one of the stools, Blair nursed a warm cup of coffee in her hands, glancing around the 'kitchen'. It was a mess. Last night's dinner turned out to be a tragedy. Dan's special chicken got burnt and well, let's just say there wasn't much meat to eat off it. He had done an admirable job of cleaning up, but Blair was going to have to call Dorota later to come down and clean up the mess. Placing the cup down, she heard shuffling coming from behind. Turning around, she saw Dan move around her and to the coffee pot, pouring himself a cup.

"You know, I never got to thank you for what you've done," Blair said timidly, her index finger tracing the rim of the cup.

Turning around, Dan looked back at her with a slight smile before shrugging his shoulders.

"Well I'm sure you would have have done the same for er- someone like Serena. And, she would have done the same for me. And I would also like to think that she would have appreciated me doing this for you since she's not in the state,"

Blair mirrored his smile, swallowing quietly and feeling herself bite her tongue. She wanted to not think about what had happened just a couple of weeks ago, but she knew she couldn't just forget about it. She was sick, and if she wasn't treated, then who knows what would have happened.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"I… Are you free? On Saturday?" Blair stammered, almost tripping over her words. She didn't know why she was so nervous.

"I should be, why?"

"It's just, I have an appointment with the doctor. I changed it so Chuck wouldn't come and find me there. Would you… come with me?"

The smile fading from his face, the boy nodded solemnly before parting his lips to speak.

"Of course. I might just have to drop something of Jenny's off at Lily's, but, I'll go with you after I do that,"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Blair smiled brightly at him before picking up the cup and taking a sip. She didn't notice that Dan had now walked around and sat down beside her until she heard his voice right next to her.

"Have you seen him since?" The boy asked quietly. Swallowing, Blair held her head up high before inhaling quietly.

"No, and I don't intend to," She said firmly, turning to look at him. "Why? Do you think I should?"

Watching as he shrugged, it gave Blair no confidence in whether she was doing the right thing.

"I have, never been in a relationship quite as complicated as yours with Chuck, but, he made a mistake. You've proven your point. And yeah, maybe you don't want to talk to him, see him, or even just be around with him again, but you've gotta tell the guy. To him, you've probably just been avoidi-"

"But I have been avoiding him," Blair interjected.

"Yeah, but he doesn't have any closure. He doesn't know you don't want to see him again or just talk to him. You have to tell him where you stand, where you stand with your relationship with him. Than kind of stuff," Dan shrugged lightly before taking a sip and sliding off the stool.

"I'll be right back, I have to post a couple of things. But just think about it, okay?"

Nodding, Blair watched as Dan walked out of the loft, leaving her alone to her thoughts. Maybe she did need to face the devil himself to tell him what she felt. But it was going to take more than a few more days before she could see the man that ruined her life.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hold me now I need to feel complete._

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He had gone to the doctor's appointment and he had made sure that she was settling into loft living. Every now and then, Dan Humphrey had spotted Dorota cleaning up the loft whenever he had come back from classes. The maid sheepishly gave him a grin before addressing him 'Mr. Dan' and going about her business. Dan wasn't one for a whole lot of cleaning, but a lot of the time, he did do things himself. Having a little bit of help around the loft wasn't so bad, but he hadn't been used to seeing her around.

The first few weeks of classes had gone smoothly. Dan was making new friends and getting to know them on campus while off campus, he was making sure that Blair had everything she needed. It was strange to have Blair Waldorf living with him, let alone being her friend. Both of them knew that Dan didn't have to do this, but he also knew that he would have felt like an asshole if he didn't take her in. After all, she had no where to go and there was no way he was going to turn her away, even if she had treated him like crap in high school. He thought that he was a more decent human being than that, and so he decided to turn the other cheek and forgive and forget.

But the one thing that Dan didn't expect was how fast their friendship grew. It wasn't obvious in the beginning, but when he started talking to her about other things, it became obvious that they had several things in common. While he knew she was a conniving girl from high school, they actually managed to hold some kind of intellectual conversation when they sat down for breakfast, or when Dan found himself turning on the news and there was some debate and it would lead them to discussing those issues. Either way, he knew she was smart, but he thought she was a "different" kind of smart. It surprised him that they were able to hold this kind of conversation for so long.

Eventually they started finishing off each other's sentences, having similar thoughts on certain issues and even understanding each other on some sort of psychic level. At first it freaked Dan out; to think that he was able to understand Blair Waldorf and to know what she wanted him to buy her when he walked past the coffee shop from the shortcut he took from college back to the loft, that he knew what her favourite type of pie was other than her father's pie, that he knew that even though martinis were one of her favourite alcoholic beverages, a cheap beer would have gotten her just as drunk. In some way, they worked in concert with each other – moving about the kitchen when they were making breakfast, preparing sandwiches or cooking dinner. They worked harmoniously, and Dan thought he was going a little crazy.

Upon returning from his last class, Dan had stopped by the little coffee shop that he had discovered while meandering back home one day and had gotten Blair's favourite drink.

"Blair, I'm back," Dan announced, dropping his book bag on the couch before looking around. Not seeing her anywhere, he put the drink on the kitchen bench before walking further inside the loft.

Perhaps she wasn't home, but that theory was thrown out the window when he heard soft sobbing coming from his room. With his brows furrowed and a spring in his step, Dan pushed his door open to see Blair sitting on the edge of his bed, her Cabbage Patch Kid tucked tightly within her grip. The brunette suddenly looked up at him in surprise, suppressing a sniffle as he walked over to her. Almost ready to sit down beside her to find out what was wrong, she spoke.

"Don't come near me," the brunette whispered quietly.

"Why? What happened?" Dan stammered softly.

"I saw him today. He caught me after class, in the hallway. He told me he was sorry, and that he didn't mean to cheat on me. That he was sick too, and that he needed someone else to talk to. Someone he knew that was going through the same thing as he was,"

The room was silent as Blair finished, Dan having some kind of sinking feeling in his stomach.

"S-so what did you say?"

Sniffling, Blair looked up at Dan bleary-eyed before giving him a weak smile. "I told him that we were through. And that you were more of a man than he would ever be because you helped me even when you didn't have to,"

He felt slightly elated and relived at the same time. "And then what did he say?"

"He just looked at me with disgust and left me alone. I guess that's the end of that,"

His gaze darting down to the floor, Dan clenched his jaw as his brows furrowed once more before eventually looking up to meet Blair's gaze again.

"You're okay with that?" he asked quietly.

With a smile and a small sniffle, the brunette responded with a nod. "Perfectly,"

Mirroring the smile, Dan wrapped his arm around Blair's shoulders and pulled her into his chest. Inhaling the scent of her shampoo, he gently pressed his lips against the side of his head.

That was the first time he had kissed Blair Waldorf. And it wasn't that horrible at all.


	5. Chapter 5

_I suppose I'll let this go and find a reason I'll hold on to._

She did everything the doctor told her; she made sure she took her medicine, went to every medical screening and follow up appointment. She was diligent. This was certainly something that Blair Waldorf was going to defeat, even if it took the life out of her.

It had been six months after her diagnosis and everything seemed to be going smoothly. She had fallen into some sort of routine with Dan Humphrey and they seemed to get along well, much to her surprise. She seemed to have grossly underestimated his judge of character when they were in high school. Sure, Serena had told him how good he really was, but she never really believed her. After all, he was the one that liked to bring up the topic of the fact that he was poorer than they were and that it was some huge burden on his shoulders. It annoyed her, it really did. But now, she didn't really mind that he wasn't all that well off.

While she had gotten used to the Humphrey loft, a part of her missed her town house with Dorota pottering around the place, making sure that the place was spotless. Initially, Blair had Dorota come over to the loft to help clean up after them. But those visits had become less frequent as she started to settle into loft living. She had turned Jenny's old bedroom into her own room with less creature comforts. She had Dorota bring her old bed and sheets to the loft, along with a few other familiar things like her dresser. But other than that, she had turned Jenny's old room into her own. She had been living at the loft for a while now, and while she wouldn't have admitted it out loud, she quite enjoyed living there.

It was nearing midnight and Bair was in her room, her laptop on and typing her paper. It was due the following Monday and she had already left it far too late. It wasn't like her to leave things like this to the last minute, but she had concluded that her head had been swimming with other thoughts other than homework. Living with Dan Humphrey was one thing. Falling for Dan Humphrey was another, and Blair was quite sure that the latter was happening.

While she hadn't managed to rule the school, Dan seemed to have picked up where she left off. She wasn't the queen, but she would have agreed that Dan was the king. At first she thought it was ridiculous that a boy like Dan Humphrey could have been crowned king of their year, but as she started living around him, she finally realised how it was possible. He had a good heart, kind, sweet, logical, intelligent, book smart, down to earth, and just downright an all round good guy. Of course that just reminded her of Nate, except Dan was just the poor man's version of him. His deep brown eyes, almost boy-like smile and muscular physique seemed to capture women's hearts on campus. It was completely unacceptable for her to have any romantic feelings for him of any sort (even if she had broken that rule a month ago).

She was Blair Waldorf and he was Dan Humphrey. He was the boy she ridiculed in high school because she was better than him and she knew it. She was rich, he was poor; she had good taste in clothes, he had none; she lived a life of luxury, he didn't. The fact of the matter was that she believed that she was better than him. And while it took a serious disease to make her re-evaluate her life, she never thought that she would find herself in the position of one of those girls pining for Dan Humphrey. She was sure that her old high school friends would have Sparta kicked her down a well if she had confessed her secret feelings for Dan Humphrey; it was that ludicrous.

But regardless of how she felt for the boy, she was sure he would never feel the same for her. The thought of him actually falling for someone that mistreated him in the past made her feel a little ill, for she was sure that she would never take Chuck Bass back if it were her in that position.

Hearing the door slam, Blair looked up from her computer and out to the front of the loft, seeing Dan walk in. There was a party on tonight and Dan had graciously extended an invitation to her, but she politely declined (partly because she wanted to get one on her own merit rather than because of the fact that they were friends). She had to do homework, and this just meant that she didn't have to stand in a room full of oversexed females that all wanted a piece of Dan Humphrey (for it would have possibly made her think that she wanted him even more). Biting the inside of her cheek, Blair tentatively got up from her chair as she watched him start to walk further in, the boy spotting her through the open door.

She was sure her heart fluttered slightly when he gave her that smile.

"Hey, didn't think you'd be up this late," he spoke, the brunette shrugging slightly.

"I had to get started on a paper. I left it too late. Due on Monday, you know how it goes,"

Giving her a smile, Dan nodded before starting to head towards his room. Blair backing over to her own desk, she sat back down again to see him toss his jacket on his bed. The garage door was up.

"Thought you hated the door when it was up," Dan mused with a gentle smirk, sitting on the edge of the bed to face Blair as he undid the cuffs of his shirt.

"Cedric was keeping me company," she nodded, her head ducking back down to the computer screen and continuing to type away.

Shaking his head slightly, he eventually got up from the bed after undoing the buttons on his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. Walking over to the door, he leaned against the handle and peered into Blair's room, only for a moment, before he started to slide the door down.

"Goodnight Blair,"

Looking up from her computer, she saw Dan pulling down the garage door that separated their rooms, swallowing as she saw him in his slacks and wife-beater. As soon as the door hit the ground, she sighed quietly before simply staring at the door.

"Night Dan," she said softly, biting her bottom lip ever so gently as she uttered, "I love you,"


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living._

Dan Humphrey was not the dishonourable type of person. He wasn't the type of person to lie to anyone, or to do any misdeed to anyone (unless it was called for). He was generally a good guy, and that was what everybody seemed to like about him. He was kind, caring, considerate, and generally didn't do things for his own personal gain. In retrospect, he was quite sure that Blair had told him that he was the poor man's version of the one and only Nathaniel Archibald. A part of him wasn't sure whether he was able to take that a compliment or not, given that sometimes Nate's decisions weren't exactly all that sound, but he took it as one. But because of this, he found himself in quite a difficult position. In fact, Dan Humphrey was doing the exact opposite of what everyone thought he was.

Being dishonourable meant that you were bringing shame or disgrace on someone or something. And by what Dan was doing? He was being dishonour upon himself. These kinds of actions were a rarity for him, and he knew that this was probably the only time that it had happened. But time had gone so fast, and before he knew it, he was one of the most popular boys at NYU. It was ridiculous to think that he used to be the boy at St. Jude's that got teased constantly for the fact that he wasn't rich and that he had to take a bus to school, all the way in from Brooklyn. He knew that he had girls fawning all over him ever since the day he stepped on campus. He wasn't the typical jock on campus, he was the smart kid that used his head on his shoulders to make decisions. But the one decision that he didn't dare make was the one that was still living in the Brooklyn loft.

Six months had passed since the night that she came to him for help. Six months had passed since she had found out that she was ill with a disease that had no cure. But only five months had passed since he had lost his heart to her.

He was insane for thinking that she would actually feel the same way as he did because she was Blair Waldorf. She didn't date boys like him, and she certainly wasn't even interested in boys like him. With her track record, he knew exactly what kind of boys she was into. Nate Archibald, Chuck Bass, Marcus, even her brief stint with Carter Basin – they were all men that had notoriety in the city of New York. They had well to do families and they were incredibly well off. Yes, his father was now married to Lily van der Woodsen, but that didn't mean a thing. While he was rich by association, the Humphrey name had nothing to it except that his father was the front man of a forgotten band of the 90's. It certainly wasn't something Dan was extremely proud of, but for what it was worth, he was proud that it was his dad.

So to put his mind at ease, Dan had lapped up at all of the newfound attention that he was getting. Going out every weekend with his newfound friends was something he enjoyed the most. And while he was aware of Blair's plans to take over NYU, he couldn't help but feel a little upset when all of her plans had failed so far. As much as she wanted to rule the school as well, her old tactics weren't going to work. They were in a different crowd, and it seemed like the average decent person was going to win the fight.

But even going out at night didn't help him. Every time he came home, he'd see Blair at her desk studying. As much as he assumed that she was an intelligent being on her own without her minions, he never realised how hard she worked by herself. They had made up an imaginary line down the dining table when they had tests to study and their desks in their rooms were too small to study on. While that meant that they couldn't eat on the large table, it provided them with a huge study space. And because of that, Dan had found himself procrastinating at times, looking around the loft before his eyes landed on Blair's figure. She was always too busy to realise that he was looking at her, and he had thanked the powers above for that. Because those moments were when he realised that he was starting to fall for the one and only Blair Waldorf.

It was the way she had to constantly move the piece of paper towards her every once in a while because it seemed to get carried away as she wrote furiously. It was the way she seemed to shovel food into her mouth as she read a textbook, occasionally missing one and leaving it on the floor. It was the way that she'd crinkle her brow when she didn't understand a question. It was the way that she'd scrunch her nose slightly when she smelled that their lunch was starting to burn. It was the way she would only use yellow highlighters for her handwritten notes. It was the way that she would continually tell him that she hated it when one of his papers crossed the imaginary line before giving him a slight smile. It was the way she'd bite her lip when he was trying to explain something to him, and the way she'd give him that excited look when she finally understood what he had said.

With all of that aside, he felt like he had been dishonourable to himself and possibly the Humphrey name. He wasn't actually doing anything wrong, but he felt like going out with his new friends and letting girls fawn over him was something he shouldn't have been doing. Yes, it was distracting him from the person he really wanted, but he shouldn't have been stringing other girls along and giving them hope. Sooner or later, he would put himself out of his misery. But for now, it was a distraction that he was quite enjoying as well.

Coming back from a party, Dan entered the loft and closed the heavy door behind him. Jaw clenched and hands in his pockets, he looked up to see Blair standing up. Giving her a smile, he pulled his hands out from his pockets and spoke.

"Hey, didn't think you'd be up this late," he muttered, watching the brunette give him a slight shrug.

"I had to get started on a paper. I left it too late. Due on Monday, you know how it goes,"

Dan nodded and smiled, knowing all too well what she was talking about. He had a paper to write as well, and that was probably what he was going to be working on for an hour or so before he went to bed. Starting to head towards his room, he shrugged his jacket off before tossing it on the bed. Expecting to see the garage door down, he saw it was up.

"Thought you hated the door when it was up," he mused with a gentle smirk, sitting on the edge of the bed to face Blair as he undid the cuffs of his shirt.

"Cedric was keeping me company,"

turning around to look at the bookshelf above his bed, he saw Cedric still sitting there. With a smile, he shook his head slightly before getting up from the bed. Shrugging off his shirt, he walked over to the garage door and gave her a smile, leaning against the handle and peered into her room momentarily.

"Goodnight Blair,"

Pulling the garage door down, he felt the weight of the door set down against the floor. Eventually standing, he simply stared at the door before sighing softly. About to turn away, he heard her say goodnight. Just as he was about to turn to get ready to work on his paper, he thought he heard something else. It was faint, and soft, but it certainly came from Blair. She didn't know it, but the walls in the loft were thin as paper. And just because the garage door was heavy, that didn't mean it wasn't exactly sound proof. He wasn't quite sure what she had just said, but a part of him knew that maybe he could stop being dishonourable. That maybe she just felt the same way too.

Moving out of his room and briskly walking to Blair's room, he stood in the doorway, frozen as their gazes met.

Did she really say that she loved him?


End file.
